Unmasking Grief: Our story of holding sorrow and joy 

When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.…..Kahlil Gibran 1883-1931

How often do we witness grief in its rawest form? For a parent faced with the death of their child, how can you hold the tension between living and loving and anticipating your child’s death? And when your child dies, how can you begin to pick up the pieces of your life and somehow put them back together again?  

Unmasking Grief illuminates the story of four bereaved mothers who came together over a series of months as they carefully removed their mask and shared with each other the truth of their grief. Rachel, Yvonne, Bec and Angela face confronting topics with dignity, grace, vulnerability, and humour.  

The themes that guide this six chapter story unfolded through a series of conversations. These four mothers asked that this production remain true to their experience. As a group living with the unimaginable and unbearable, the death of their child, they talk about immense pain and confusion as they experienced first their child’s life limiting diagnosis; the anticipation of their child’s death; their child’s end of life and planning for their child’s funeral; the days, weeks, months and years following the death of their child; and the love and joy that began to emerge amongst the brokenness. We witness the capacity of the human spirit to balance life and loss, sorrow and joy. 

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked… Kahlil Gibran 

Grieving openly in a world that struggles to confront suffering is difficult. You learn to put on a mask to avoid experiencing more pain or unintentionally inflicting pain on others. While in the beginning a mask may help us to feel safe, wearing a mask can be suffocating and exhausting and may reduce our ability to flourish. When we mask sorrow, we restrain our joy and can become an empty vessel. It can become exhausting losing this sense of yourself. And in wearing this mask, the world will never really come any closer to understanding the experience of grief or how to connect in meaningful ways with those who are grieving. 

When it feels the right time, and you carefully begin to remove this mask, you give yourself the opportunity to build yourself back in a way that is real.  

​​As you travel with us through our story, you may like to approach this as you would a book. There may be chapters that provide a feeling of connection for you at this time. Perhaps questions will be raised that have been on your mind too. There may be chapters that simply feel too confronting right now. Go at the pace that suits you. Like a book, start, stop, mark up pages, return to what speaks strongly to you, and navigate carefully through what you don’t quite feel ready for or able to view today.  

If you are a parent anticipating the death of your child, or a parent now suffering this unimaginable loss, we hope that in unmasking our experience, this enables you to gently unmask. We also send you all our love and care.  

If you are supporting a bereaved parent, we hope that in witnessing the truth of grief, this allows you to become an enabler in unmasking grief for those you walk alongside. 

Viewing these stories and confronting suffering may not be easy. When feeling vulnerable, some people find it helpful to lean into the comfort of trusted family and friends, a family doctor or counsellor.  

If you are seeking urgent support we encourage you to contact Lifeline on 13 11 14.